Gardening blues

Digging is hard, it takes far to long
Some mechanical help, that can’t be wrong
A Rotavator or tiller, that’s what we need
Job done in minutes, that’s guaranteed

A DIY supplied it, I was so proud
Press start button, boy was it loud
My smile lasted as long as it took
For the tiller to spin and run over my foot

With a scream I let go and watched it go nuts
As it shot off and smashed into rain water butts
Within minutes the water flooded the garden
And suddenly the tiller didn’t seem such a bargain

Now friends all , it’s plain to see
An electric tiller runs on electricity
So grabbing the handle while standing in a pool
Is something only done by a fool

The shock threw me straight over the garden wall
Where the neighbours out sunbathing softened my fall
The relief was short lived as surely was I
When said neighbour punched me straight in the eye

I turned to run and fell over a log
That’s when I met our neighbours dog
Who cocked his leg as I lay in despair
And urinated all over my hair.

I barely escaped back without broken bones
Stumbling across shattered fencing and stones
The house was in darkness as I’d tripped the main fuse
So play me some of those gardening blues


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